Alzheimer's Run Rabbit Run.

I noticed mom was making quite a few references to things that happened decades ago. I remembered this is what my friends father started doing right before he would stand on the front porch and wait for his wife to pick him up so they could "go home and he could watch what he wanted on his television". Well he was already at his current home and his wife was inside and so was his television and he could watch what ever he wanted.

We saw him in the middle of the front yard watching for his ride as days passed. You could tell the way his was moving around and where he was looking he was thinking about walking home. The home they used to live in years ago. After he started to become impatient about waiting it was evident he had to be kept in the house unless he had some one with him every time. He was under close supervision from then on but most of the time he didn't know it.

As time goes by memory gets worse and they will need you to watch them more. Be sneaky watching them or they may find it strange to see you staring at them every time they look your way. The progression is going to be different in each person that has Alzheimer's disease. The symptoms may be different and it gets worse. You need to be aware that as their memory degenerates the memories from earlier in their life will seem to them to be current memories of things that just happened a little while ago.

It is important to take action and get locks on the exterior doors that need to be locked and unlocked with a key on the inside as well as the outside. I put a second set of locks on our doors and I'll never forget that day. Let me tell you my personal story of the day I wished had never happened.

One day out of the blue I felt compelled to put new deadbolts on the exterior doors. I new sooner or later I would have to do it. Why not Now? I went and bought two double (inside/outside) keyed deadbolt locks. One for the back door and one for the front. It was winter so it was cold but it had been going up in the low 40's during the day. It was a late purchase and the stores were closing. I didn't buy new drill bits because I was sure I had what I needed at home or so I thought.

The back door was easy because it already had a deadbolt so all I had to do was take the old one out and put the new one in. The front door was metal on both sides with a wood core. Well it turns out that the hole saw I had was for installing deadbolts in wood doors only. It was hard but I made it threw the inside surface but when it came to drilling from the outside in the hole saw did nothing but take the paint off the metal. Great - all the stores were closed by then.

This is where I should have thought about why I decided to put the locks in this particular day. Why did that pop into my head when it did. This is one of those times the universe was giving me a little nudge by putting that urge in my head. I listened enough to get started but didn't finish. I had realized in the past when I get that type of feeling I had better get it done or the universe was going to set me up with a strong wake up call. I was just so exhausted by that point it didn't register.

Since mom had not tried to leave to this point I decided it would be sufficient to block the door. I placed stuff in front of the door that was heavy to me thinking that a 130 pound 88 year old woman with Alzheimer's disease couldn't move everything and get out. I was tired and not thinking at the time. What I should have done was take the door handle assembly out and put the lock in there until the next day. I could have pushed one of the reclining chairs in front of the door and slept in it.

The next morning I got out of bed and as I always do I went for a walk about the house to see where my mother was. I walked into the living room and saw everything I had placed to block the door was strewn across the room. How this happened without waking me up I don't know. Instant panic.

I had thought about what it might be like when I saw this happening to other families. I can tell you it's so far beyond that and nothing you want to go through. Never! I just woke up and wasn't all there yet. I was thrown into a state of instant panic. What do I do first. I felt every minute that passed and every decision could determine the outcome. The adrenalin was on overdrive and my heart pounding. I felt I had to act fast and no time to think about it. It felt like I was thrust into an altered state of consciousness.

I ran to the door and it was unlocked. I ran around the house to see if by chance my worst nightmare wasn't really happening. I looked behind anything that could hide a person that might have fell down or was hiding but she wasn't there. I ran outside and around the house and looked everywhere. Then I ran to the neighbors and asked them if they had seen her but again no sign of mom. I noticed the crossing guard that stands at out corner in front of our house and ran to ask her. She hadn't seen her either.

I didn't even know what time she got out of the house. I ran inside and dialed 911 for the police and had to tell them my mother was missing and she had Alzheimer's. We live on a corner property so I went out to the corner and looked down both streets. The crossing guard was keeping an eye open for her when she wasn't helping the kids cross the road. There's a school across the street from us.

I was at the end of the drive way and a police car pulled up and there was mom in the back seat. Looking at me with a smile like nothing had happened. All these years I thought it would be her looking at me in the back of a police car. The Officer asked if he had the right address and then pulled in the driveway.

She wasn't in bad shape after the walk she took. They found her a couple of miles away as the crow flies. She wasn't dressed for the weather. All she took with her was two clean pillow cases, an ash tray in her pocket and a pair of the large plastic sun glasses they give you at the eye doctor after they put those drops in your eyes that make it hard to see. No coat, no identification, no regular glasses and she didn't have her false teeth either.

It's really hard to understand what she's saying when she has her false teeth out. The police officer told me the name she had given to him and it was her maiden name. There was no way to connect her to our address until I called. Only about 5 percent of the people with Alzheimer's disease make it home safe when they take off. The police officer said they were looking for a man that had disappeared the day before and was hoping they could find him before it was to late.

This happened January 24, 2006 and it has haunted me every day since. I constantly check the door to see if I locked it. I even check it if I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I know I checked it before I went to bed. You do it so often that when I remember doing it I want to make sure I'm remembering doing it right before bed. Not some memory of doing it another time sneaking in and making me think I did it when I have not.

I try to lock the door right after I unlock it and go in or out. Even if I'm unloading the car after food shopping. This is important because I sometimes get so tired that I could fall asleep when I don't plan to take a nap or sleep. I've grabbed a cookie and sat down for a couple of of minutes to watch the weather on the evening news. The next I know I'm waking up an hour later with half a cookie on my chest and cookie still in my mouth.

Always do safety and security stuff right away. Don't tell yourself you'll come back and do it in a few minutes. You might think it's easier or more convenient now but it's not easier or convenient the one time you forget and it leads to tragedy. Do it now!

When mom ran away I had no indication it was going to happen. While I was searching the house for her I noticed she had collected several piles of belonging to take with her. I guess she would start one pile and look for something else to take with her and she would forget about the stuff she had already had together. I found a small plastic waste can she had loaded up with shoes and a strange choice of things to take. So if you find little stashes of things it might not be collecting, hoarding or organizing. It might be the person with Alzheimer's is planning to travel.

When a person has Alzheimer's disease they try to return to the places they went to in their youth. The street they found my mother was were a girl friend she worked with at Bell Telephone had an apartment. Right across the street from the apartment was a diner she would meet up with her friends and they would eat or just have coffee. Having Alzheimer's you don't know where they may end up.

I'm glad she had not headed for one of the places she lived before I was born. When she lived there it was well kept and safe all times of the day and night. I don't feel safe going to that area now in the daytime. Who knows what could of happened to her. Maybe nothing. Even in the worst places there can be a kind person that decides to help the helpless.

I take my job as caregiver very serious and pride myself in doing whatever it takes. It's strange the way you can do everything right time after time. The one time you mess up is the one time you can't afford to.