Alzheimer's Caregivers Need Sleep Too.

Yesterday was one of my challenging days. Very early in the morning I was finishing up some things I wanted get done before I went to sleep. I was thinking to myself - It's 2:00 A.M. and it looks like I might get to catch up on some long needed sleep. You see my mother has Alzheimer's disease and she Had been keeping me awake. When some one has Alzheimer's it's better if you can sleep at the same time they do.

This isn't always possible because sometimes things need to get done and you don't get the chance while they are awake. So sooner or later you need to use some of their down time to catch up. Sometimes I just don't want a lot of stuff waiting for me when I get up so I try to do as much as I can before sleep. I know I'll have an easier day and I use it as kind of an alone time to slow down and think with out interruption and get in the mood to sleep.

I had a load of soiled clothes in the washer. Not every time but sometimes a person with Alzheimer's doesn't realize when they should head for the bathroom or where the bathroom is. They might not make it on time or may start to have their bowel movement before they sit down all the way. Oops. We have two bathrooms and for some reason mom will forget the one she's 10 feet from and walk though the house to the other one. This is not a good choice when time is of the essence.

When I think of it I often ask her if she feels like she could go. If she is walking around and near the bathroom I will ask her to go and see if she can go even if she says she doesn't need to go. About eighty percent of they time she can go when she thinks she can not or doesn't feel she needs to. Remember to always be nice about it. If it's upsetting to the person with Alzheimer's it's better to back off ten minutes and try again. Trickery is allowed with Alzheimer's and as long as they feel good through the process and after use it.

I like to get any soiled clothes, towels, sheets and carpets clean before I retire for the day. The day left me with those kind of chores. Around 2:30 A.M. I was exhausted and just wanted to sit down for a few minutes. When I went to get up my lower back was out. Not a little out this was major. When this happens everything slows down by necessity. I got the wash into the dryer and did as little as possible until just before 7:00 A.M. when I could head for the Chiropractor. I made it there but never slept until I got back.

When I got home my mother was still sleeping so I decided I would a least try to get a nap. After about 2 hours of sleep the neighbor decided to mow his grass and that ended my nap. I got up to see what was going on in the house and as I passed my mothers bedroom I saw she wasn't in bed. When she gets up to go to the bathroom during the night she may forget she was sleeping and head over to the other side of the house and sit in her reclining chair.

I found this would happen even if the lights are off in the rest of the house. For fear of her walking through a dark room and falling down I now leave one light on in each room of the house except the bedrooms. Enough light enters the bedrooms from the hall light. I also keep the television on in the room with her chair. I do this to catch her attention. Sort of like a moth to the flame.

This will often entertain her enough to keep her from exploring and moving things all over the place. It's a lot better than getting up the next day and find you need to search the whole house for stuff you need. You can't hide and lock up everything or you spend all your time hiding stuff or locking and unlocking everything.

As I approached the back room I could see she wasn't in her chair so I headed for the bathroom in the back corner of the room and she was not to be found. What I did find was the dreaded Alzheimer's misplaced bowel movement. Down the front of the toilet and on the floor. The soiled underwear cleverly hanging from the top corner of the door of the cabinet under the sink. I could see she had made an attempt at cleaning it up.

Please remember the person Alzheimer's disease doesn't do this on purpose and they don't like having a bowel movement all over them. They need to have some one clean then up even after they try to clean themselves up. I can not say this enough so hear goes. Do not get mad at them or show that your are upset or yell about the mess. It will be better off for all concerned if this is handled with a smile and comforting words and actions.

Anything you are thinking or feeling isn't between you and the person with Alzheimer's. If you feel upset or mad or like yelling it is between you and your god. These are your trials and tribulations and has nothing to do with the person with Alzheimer's.

Back to the bedroom and there she was sitting on the edge of her bed with a lost look on her face. She was there all the time but was in a part of the room you can't see if you just walk by the door. I'm so used to seeing that and finding her in her chair I didn't look completely inside as I passed.

I got her up and guided her down the hall to the clean bathroom and got her washed off and helped her get into some clean clothes and back over to her bed and tucked her in. I got her into bed by telling her it wasn't time to get up yet.

This gave me time to then go over and scrub and disinfect the bathroom and to search the house for any other clothes or the like that needed to be washed. Did I mention that a person with Alzheimer's may place their soiled clothing in the strangest places and may require you to search them out. I still can't find a shoe and I've looked all over the place.

Getting down on you hands and knees and cleaning up something that smells really bad until your done isn't my favorite thing. This mess wasn't as bad as some because it just involved the front portion of the toilet, the floor, the cabinet door and the sink. Often this is very watery or even maybe gel like. It goes everywhere. Even places you won't think to look so check everywhere if you are in a similar situation. Believe me it's so much easier when it's fresh.

When some one has Alzheimer's they do a few things when they make a mess. One is they may try to clean the mess up. The mess becomes harder to see but it is smeared over a much larger area. I prefer this didn't happen because there is always a lot more to clean and they get it on their hands and anywhere they touch needs to be cleaned and disinfected. Sometimes they get distracted and just leave it. Now comes the one I like the least. The person with Alzheimer's decides to try to clean up the mess but then goes on to hide any thing that has poop on it.

I'll warn you that they won't hide everything in the same place. This is why its good to know what was there before the accident and what they were wearing and what they carry around with them. That way you have a general idea what you need to find.

Now I have the really bad area cleaned and start to look for anything I may need to clean between the bathroom and where I found mom. Then I go to the bathroom I cleaned her up in and clean that up. Don't stop to take a rest until you get done. If you do a person with Alzheimer's may find their way back into the mess.

If you can't get them to go lay down for a while try to find something to keep them out of the soiled area. It might be a show on the television and maybe music will work sometimes or a snack. Whatever you do make sure you get them to wash their hands or you do it for them. If they do it make sure you supervise. I usually combine the two.

I keep moms fingernails short and I have a soft bristled tooth brush I use to help clean the fingernails and do it often. A person with Alzheimer's will put their fingers in anything so you want to clean the nails well. Remember to keep it light hearted and fun. Talk to them while your helping them and if you don't understand what they say back act like you do. Put a smile on your face and throw in a laugh here and there. It's contagious.

When cleaning I wear throw away purple nitrile exam gloves. I don't care for the vinyl gloves because they don't fit well and the latex gloves fail or rip easily. I try to use the safest cleaners I can find that still do the job and I use a separate disinfectant.

Use natural green products because every thing you use will get into you and the person you are taking care of. If some one gets a rash you'll know it wasn't from some harsh chemical cleaner. If the person with Alzheimer's gets into it when your not looking the outcome won't be as serious.

To deal with the smell I have found that the air freshener sprays just don't work well. I use essential oils and find them to work well. There are many to pick from and you can find oils that smell really good and kill germs at the same time. One or two sprays is all you need.

As far as clothes, towels, wash clothes or sheets etc go it's good to get them in the washer and let them soak with something to kill the germs and some soap. You can wash them when ever you have the time. Do it when your at home and not sleeping. Never leave a washer or dryer on without being home and awake.

The hoses on a washer can burst and flood your house and the pans they now put under the washer isn't going to take care of a pressurized hose bursting. The dryer can cause a fire because of the lint. The lint trap collects a lot of it but some always gets by and collects in the vent. If this lint catches fire and your not home or if you are asleep the outcome will be tragic.

Now that the unexpected has happened and has been dealt with the rest of the day can start. These messes can happen at any time and I don't always wake up to a mess that needs to be cleaned up. This type of thing can be worse than I just described and has been and will be. You just need to accept that this will happen and if you expect it you will find it easier to deal with. Now that you know this is going to happen you won't get upset about it as easily.

It will happen at the worse time. Waking up to it is never fun but neither is knowing you need to be somewhere and you can not make it on time because you need to change your schedule and start cleaning. Maybe people are coming over to the house and all of a sudden there is a streak of watery poop across the carpet and the bathroom is a mess and the smell is terrible and the person with Alzheimer's needs to get a bath or shower.

This is only one type of mess you will need to deal with so get yourself a sense of humor and give up the idea that you need to be in control and that things should go the way you think they should. The only thing you can control is you. Try it right now. Go ahead smile. Better yet let go and laugh out loud. Don't tell any body your going to do it just start laughing hard and loud. Laughing hard is a good way to give yourself an energy boost.

When something like this happens I take advantage of every chance I can to nap. This might happen soon after mom gets up. She may come over and sit in her chair and fall asleep. If she does I'll sit down in the chair next to hers and nap at the same time. Most of the time I know I need to make it more than half way through the day before she wants to take a nap. If she decides to recline in her chair I know that's only good for a half an hour to an hour of nap time. If she wants to go over on her bed for a nap I can usually squeeze 3 or 4 hours into the nap.

Try your best to get a full nights sleep each day. If you can't get it in one sleep period that's fine as long as you can add it all up to equal a full nights sleep. If it's not at least 2 hours long I don't count it. A half hour nap may help you feel better but it won't get your body to start detoxifying. Your body does most of its detoxifying and healing during sleep according to me.

O sleep! O gentle sleep!
Nature’s soft nurse, how have I frighted thee,
That thou no more wilt weigh my eyelids down
And steep my senses in forgetfulness?

Alzheimer's Coincidence Or Divine Intervention

This happened about a week and a half ago. Better late than never. Ever notice that even with the best intentions to sit down and get some work done things happen to distract you from it and in the end it seems like you were being guided. I had one of those days. Mom was more interactive this day and kept asking me to come out to the room she was in. She just wanted to spend time with me.

This happens often but this time she was pestering me every few minutes. With Alzheimer's disease it's unusual that she could keep that idea going for as long as she did. I resigned to the fact I wasn't going to get anything done any way so I went out and sat down.

Being with a person that has Alzheimer's disease you become aware of things most people might not notice. When I'm at the computer I constantly listen for the slightest noise or vibration or movement caught out the corners of my eyes. You begin to notice patterns of normal activity. Anything that is outside of that pattern catches your attention. Your awareness of everything around you is heightened.

The room we were in has large windows one next to the other. You see around outside very well. The road isn't far about 50 or 60 feet but with the trees and bushes you only see a glimpse of part of a car or person. We live on a corner property and it's normal for people to turn onto the road and stop to get their bearings or pick something up that slid off their seat.

If you look toward the bottom of the yard you see a longer stretch of road. Well I see a car slowing down but I don't see it stop because of the bushes. I looked toward the bottom of the yard and I see a car the same color almost stopping and then doing this again and again. I've seen this before when a cat or dog is on the run to freedom.

If a pet gets free in the area it often shows up here. The yard is full of bushes that were planted as food sources and cover for birds. This landscape seems to attract runaway pets too. About 15 minutes past and I see the car go by again. I go out but it's to far down the road for them to notice me. I go back in and sit down and about the time I expect the car to come past again I start looking out the door. Instead of the car I see an elderly woman walk past the door, go down the steps onto the driveway and head for the backyard. Now that was out of the ordinary. I went out and asked her it I could help. Was she looking for her pet?

By her response I could tell she had memory problems. Not lost to the world but not all there either. I asked her where she was trying to get to and who she was. She new her name (RUTH) so that helped and she was going to her son's house. She gave the name of the road we are on but said she was looking for the big house and didn't know the address.

All the houses are about the same size one this road. I asked where she was coming from and she mentioned her daughter and pointed up the other road and said it was over the hill but didn't know the address there. Her house was about 10 miles away. She was visiting her daughter and no one was there because her daughter had to work. So she decided to walk to
her son's house.

It was hot out and she looked a little hot so I got her to come into the air conditioned house and I looked for her son's name in the phone book. His name wasn't but there was a women in there on my road with the same last name. Two numbers and both had answering machines. I left messages. She knew her son's name but not his wife's first name. I didn't know for sure so I also called the operator for more help but she had no listings for Ruth's son.

I got her something to drink but you need to take care because you don't know if they have health issues. Can they have sugars or are they allergic to anything. Now I had 2 elderly women with Alzheimer's in the house. I lucked out. Both pleasant, happy and talkative. She mentioned she had been walking for quite a while. She was ready to get on her way so I kept talking about different stuff to distract her. I didn't feel it was safe for her to wander off on her own.

If she did take off I would have to call the police and get them involved and I hadn't ruled that out for the current situation. She was starting to say her goodbyes and thank you for being so helpful when the phone rang. It was her son. It was him driving slowly past just before she showed up here and was driving all over the area looking for her. His sister called him and said she wasn't there when she got home.

He said that three other people had left messages on his answering machine and one had mentioned giving her a ride to the corner I live on. Nobody had taken her into custody and kept her. They just let her go. I'm happy to say this had a happy ending. It worked out well for the son because I had gone through my mother running away. I was able to calm him down and let him know other people go through the same thing.

The poor guy was so worried he was shaking. He didn't seem mad about it but he wasn't very open about what he was going through. You could tell it was forcing him to make some mental adjustments. This isn't unusual when your a newbie caregiver or family member trying to deal with Alzheimer's.

Being experienced I gave him some tips and what he should consider doing so this doesn't happen again. All the talking in the world isn't going to give you the skills you need. It does help when something happens but experience gives you the skills. He seemed to look like the shaking had stopped. He was off to get home and tell everyone she was safe.

See what I mean. If things hadn't happened just the way they did. If mom hadn't kept coming in and asking me to come out to the back room and sit with her. She must have come in and asked me seven times. That's a pretty long time for her to stay focused on something. It was as if there was some guiding force nudging her to nudge me.

It seemed it was meant that I saw Ruth go past the door. I thought it strange that her name was Ruth. My mothers sister is also named Ruth. She also has Alzheimer's disease like symptoms. It might have been Ruth's last chance to get home safely. I didn't notice as it was happening but when it was over I thought how many things had to fall in place. I wonder was this all a coincidence or was there some sort of divine intervention happening.

In some strange way I feel like I was being gently guided into the right place at the right time. What do you think? Do you feel like you have ever been nudged or guided? To do something or that you ended up somewhere at a certain time that made you think. What if?