There are many ways to get the person with Alzheimer's disease to do what you need them to do. Their lack of memory can work in your favor. If asking doesn't work try saying things like - remember you agreed to do this before you had your snack. Perhaps use - don't you remember you asked if you could do this earlier and I said you had to wait until I finished what I was doing. Well I'm done now so lets go do it.
In the earlier stages and into the intermediate level of Alzheimer's using remember works well. I think this is because they don't want you to know they don't remember. They are very good a hiding the fact they don't remember. I have seen many people talk to my mother and thought they were talking to a normal person of her age.
However if they had asked her to repeat what she just heard they would have realized how bad she is. Somehow they can give a proper response for the conversation. This is almost like a survivor skill. Not allowing the disability to show they are venerable and an easy target.
I've seen this in other people with Alzheimer's disease. I don't know how it works but I find it fascinating. Like some kind of innate primal instinct. This must be stored away in some yet not effected area of the brain to work this well.
I have also used - we do this every day about this time so lets get it done and we won't need to do it later. This type of thing works well when the person with Alzheimer's disease is forgetful but they can still understand what you say. The variations you can come up with are endless.
Imagination, manipulation and trickery are good tools to use when you use it the right way and for the right reasons. If the person with Alzheimer's stays focused on the issue try a simple positive diversion.
Like changing the channels on the television and then laugh like you see something that made you laugh. You can walk out of the room and turn around and come right back in singing a song as you enter. These little stunts make it hard for them to remember what happened a short time ago.
This doesn't just work when you are trying to get them to do something. It can be used to change an emotional or mental state they are in.
Remember even if they can't talk or understand what you say the may be very capable of picking up how you feel and they may turn on that emotion in themselves or feel they are the cause.
If they see you looking sad or angry or fearful they may become sad or angry or fearful. It can work the other way around too. So if you see they are in a negative state express happiness, joy, love and other positive energy and they will often begin to mirror you.
Do not wait until later to address the issue if they are having a bad time. Do it now. They may not have a concept of time and the way they feel right now is they way they think they have felt and will feel.
They may feel like they have always lived in fear and will always be in a state of fear. So take a moment of your precious time and transform their existence into the happy, joyful, fearless and loving world they deserve.
Monday, October 8, 2007
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Alzheimer's Believe Who? Believe You!
I could go into all of the possible causes for Alzheimer's disease but since the medical community doesn't know it would be a waste of time. The things that get on the news, that are said to prevent or slow the progression of this terrible condition, are all wrong. The doctors that push this disinformation are doing nothing but blowing smoke and spreading information that will not help you. If they believe what they say it amazes me they made it through medical school.
There enthusiasm seems to add to their credibility but don't fall for it. This false hope is used to make you think they are working hard and making progress to keep you in their grasp. You often here there is evidence that there is a link to... This means nothing. They crunched some numbers so to speak. They found that a percentage of people that do something have the disease or not. Not every body just a certain percentage.
This kind of information means nothing and just adds to the confusion. Every time they get on the news it makes you think they are working hard and making progress. This is to keep you thinking they are near finding a solution and if only they had more money they could find it faster.
They say if you keep your mind active by reading, puzzles and continued learning. They say to exercise often to maintain a good blood supply to the brain. They have dietary recommendations. Things you shouldn't do. These aren't a preventative for Alzheimer's disease. People that live there life like this already still get Alzheimer's disease or Alzheimer's like symptoms. Those recommendations are what you should do to maintain your general heath.
Then when you get Alzheimer's they tell you to take drugs that don't work and are dangerous in my opinion. If you haven't realized it by now they are stabbing in the dark looking for answers, coming up empty and trying to sound like they found something. People expect results so they put on a show to make you think they are making progress and here are some things to slow down the progression. Personally I'm getting tired of the lies. I want to see proof. Real proof. Not the garbage they are dumping on us now.
If you take care of an Alzheimer's patient or suspect yourself of being in the early stages or have been diagnosed with this disease you should not listen to a doctor and believe blindly what you're told. The time is now to take responsibility of your own health or of the loved one you take care of. It is easier to listen to some one that has been to medical school but you are the one that has to live with the outcome.
If you follow what they tell you to do you can find the progression of the disease in the Merck Index and its not good. The Merck Index will tell you the outcome if you're an average person doing what the average person does and eats what an average person eats. Don't be the rule be the exception. Remove yourself or your loved one from that average list and your journey will not be the same as the average Alzheimer's patient.
The medications they prescribe are said to slow down the onset of Alzheimer's Disease. How can they make this claim. My personal opinion is they can't have a legitimate clinical study because Alzheimer's disease advances at different rates in each person. Comparing two people or two groups of people regardless the number can't support a reliable comparison.
Since every person with Alzheimer's disease or Alzheimer's like symptoms progresses at their own rate if you don't treat them with medications you see the true progression. How can you prove that a prescribed medication has slowed or increased the rate of progression.
Can you say that because the group that got the test medication had a slower progression it was the medication or was it luck of the draw. The only way a reliable clinical test could be deemed reliable is if a person could split into two identical people. That's not going to happen and that's how they perpetuate the lie.
I am not going to believe what they say until I see them reversing the disease. Slow down the disease? I don't think so. I don't think they are really looking for a true cure. At best maybe a drug they can sell you the rest of your life. They all ready do that but it doesn't help.
Just like all the other diseases. It's always control heart disease or control liver disease or control kidney disease or control diabetes or control glaucoma or control arthritis. When was the last time they really cured anything.
When a person has Alzheimer's disease do you want to add to that the multitude of side effects that come with a prescribed medication. And they will manifest. It's bad enough when a person can tell you they are having a reaction they don't like or causes distress. With Alzheimer's the person can't always express a problem verbally.
They might just indicate that something feels wrong or hurts but don't know how to describe the symptom or the location. Worst they may not be able to say anything and just suffer until the problem gets so bad it becomes an emergency. You might end up torturing them for the rest of their life. Remember it might be your turn next.
If you have been given or taken by choice the responsibility to care for a loved one or family member with Alzheimer's do both of you a favor and take off the blinders. Once the allopathic (regular) doctors get control they will have the Alzheimer's patient on prescribed medication for Alzheimer's. Then when the side effects start to show up they will prescribe more medication to control or lesson the side effects. Then those drugs will have side effects.
This is a vicious circle and before long the list of medications will grow and grow. Remember every prescription drug has side effects. Every one. Also know that some drugs can not be stopped on a whim. It is dangerous to stop many drugs abruptly. Always ask you doctor and look it up in the PDR.
That's the Physicians Desk Reference and it contains full descriptions of the prescription drugs except maybe the just released ones. Even though it's full of usable information you must be aware that what you read in the PDR has been written by the company that makes the drug. Even though they do not expect you to read it the information has been filtered. What is in there will still cause you to worry and it should.
Remember that when you are older you are more likely to have side effects and they may be more serious and probably will be. If you see the drug has warnings in a black box really think about it. The product info in this book is supposed to be the same as the product info that comes with the drugs. You may not see this when you buy a prescription drug. This comes in the box the drug is in and you usually get a small portion of that container.
The drug stores put some warnings on the label and may often give you a very basic write up on the drug. If you do by chance end up with the actual product information from the manufacturer you will likely need strong magnification and a medical dictionary to half understand it.
Look at study results. If a study runs for a unusual time period they may have stopped the study early. If they included the results from beyond the cut off time they may not have been able to get the drug approved. Also look for how many people were in the clinical trial. Does the number of people in the study seem like a strange number. Perhaps people were removed from the trial.
This is my opinion but I would not get involved in any drug trials or clinical studies for Alzheimer's. At best nothing bad may happen but complications often do. I've seen some results of clinical trials gone bad and it's not pretty. I don't feel the drugs they have available now are effective or safe but that is my personal conclusion and you must do your own homework and form your own. You are the one that has to live with the decision and it may haunt you a long time.
Don't listen to a friend or doctor and feel less responsible because some one else said do this or do that. You learn and make an informed choice. Don't let any one tell you what choice to pick or let them limit you choices. Make no on the spot decisions except in an emergency. Learn what makes an emergency an emergency. If you are told take these pills today because tomorrow will be to late you may want to recognize this as a pressure tactic to get control over you again.
Remember you are not deciding for yourself. This is a big responsibility and should not be taken lightly. Don't make the choice because a doctor tells you a drug should be administered. Most doctors don't read the PDR unless you make them. They get most of their info from the drug company representatives that drop off free samples at there office.
If I listened to the doctor my mother would be dead by now. No matter what your going to need to make some hard choices. Make sure you can live with them. Just do you best. That's all I can ask of you. Early onset forms of this disease are on the rise.
You could wake up tomorrow and friend or family member may get the first subtle thought that there is something different with you. When you are this close to Alzheimer's disease you notice your own forgetfulness more and in those around you. There was something else I wanted to say if I could only remember what it was.
There enthusiasm seems to add to their credibility but don't fall for it. This false hope is used to make you think they are working hard and making progress to keep you in their grasp. You often here there is evidence that there is a link to... This means nothing. They crunched some numbers so to speak. They found that a percentage of people that do something have the disease or not. Not every body just a certain percentage.
This kind of information means nothing and just adds to the confusion. Every time they get on the news it makes you think they are working hard and making progress. This is to keep you thinking they are near finding a solution and if only they had more money they could find it faster.
They say if you keep your mind active by reading, puzzles and continued learning. They say to exercise often to maintain a good blood supply to the brain. They have dietary recommendations. Things you shouldn't do. These aren't a preventative for Alzheimer's disease. People that live there life like this already still get Alzheimer's disease or Alzheimer's like symptoms. Those recommendations are what you should do to maintain your general heath.
Then when you get Alzheimer's they tell you to take drugs that don't work and are dangerous in my opinion. If you haven't realized it by now they are stabbing in the dark looking for answers, coming up empty and trying to sound like they found something. People expect results so they put on a show to make you think they are making progress and here are some things to slow down the progression. Personally I'm getting tired of the lies. I want to see proof. Real proof. Not the garbage they are dumping on us now.
If you take care of an Alzheimer's patient or suspect yourself of being in the early stages or have been diagnosed with this disease you should not listen to a doctor and believe blindly what you're told. The time is now to take responsibility of your own health or of the loved one you take care of. It is easier to listen to some one that has been to medical school but you are the one that has to live with the outcome.
If you follow what they tell you to do you can find the progression of the disease in the Merck Index and its not good. The Merck Index will tell you the outcome if you're an average person doing what the average person does and eats what an average person eats. Don't be the rule be the exception. Remove yourself or your loved one from that average list and your journey will not be the same as the average Alzheimer's patient.
The medications they prescribe are said to slow down the onset of Alzheimer's Disease. How can they make this claim. My personal opinion is they can't have a legitimate clinical study because Alzheimer's disease advances at different rates in each person. Comparing two people or two groups of people regardless the number can't support a reliable comparison.
Since every person with Alzheimer's disease or Alzheimer's like symptoms progresses at their own rate if you don't treat them with medications you see the true progression. How can you prove that a prescribed medication has slowed or increased the rate of progression.
Can you say that because the group that got the test medication had a slower progression it was the medication or was it luck of the draw. The only way a reliable clinical test could be deemed reliable is if a person could split into two identical people. That's not going to happen and that's how they perpetuate the lie.
I am not going to believe what they say until I see them reversing the disease. Slow down the disease? I don't think so. I don't think they are really looking for a true cure. At best maybe a drug they can sell you the rest of your life. They all ready do that but it doesn't help.
Just like all the other diseases. It's always control heart disease or control liver disease or control kidney disease or control diabetes or control glaucoma or control arthritis. When was the last time they really cured anything.
When a person has Alzheimer's disease do you want to add to that the multitude of side effects that come with a prescribed medication. And they will manifest. It's bad enough when a person can tell you they are having a reaction they don't like or causes distress. With Alzheimer's the person can't always express a problem verbally.
They might just indicate that something feels wrong or hurts but don't know how to describe the symptom or the location. Worst they may not be able to say anything and just suffer until the problem gets so bad it becomes an emergency. You might end up torturing them for the rest of their life. Remember it might be your turn next.
If you have been given or taken by choice the responsibility to care for a loved one or family member with Alzheimer's do both of you a favor and take off the blinders. Once the allopathic (regular) doctors get control they will have the Alzheimer's patient on prescribed medication for Alzheimer's. Then when the side effects start to show up they will prescribe more medication to control or lesson the side effects. Then those drugs will have side effects.
This is a vicious circle and before long the list of medications will grow and grow. Remember every prescription drug has side effects. Every one. Also know that some drugs can not be stopped on a whim. It is dangerous to stop many drugs abruptly. Always ask you doctor and look it up in the PDR.
That's the Physicians Desk Reference and it contains full descriptions of the prescription drugs except maybe the just released ones. Even though it's full of usable information you must be aware that what you read in the PDR has been written by the company that makes the drug. Even though they do not expect you to read it the information has been filtered. What is in there will still cause you to worry and it should.
Remember that when you are older you are more likely to have side effects and they may be more serious and probably will be. If you see the drug has warnings in a black box really think about it. The product info in this book is supposed to be the same as the product info that comes with the drugs. You may not see this when you buy a prescription drug. This comes in the box the drug is in and you usually get a small portion of that container.
The drug stores put some warnings on the label and may often give you a very basic write up on the drug. If you do by chance end up with the actual product information from the manufacturer you will likely need strong magnification and a medical dictionary to half understand it.
Look at study results. If a study runs for a unusual time period they may have stopped the study early. If they included the results from beyond the cut off time they may not have been able to get the drug approved. Also look for how many people were in the clinical trial. Does the number of people in the study seem like a strange number. Perhaps people were removed from the trial.
This is my opinion but I would not get involved in any drug trials or clinical studies for Alzheimer's. At best nothing bad may happen but complications often do. I've seen some results of clinical trials gone bad and it's not pretty. I don't feel the drugs they have available now are effective or safe but that is my personal conclusion and you must do your own homework and form your own. You are the one that has to live with the decision and it may haunt you a long time.
Don't listen to a friend or doctor and feel less responsible because some one else said do this or do that. You learn and make an informed choice. Don't let any one tell you what choice to pick or let them limit you choices. Make no on the spot decisions except in an emergency. Learn what makes an emergency an emergency. If you are told take these pills today because tomorrow will be to late you may want to recognize this as a pressure tactic to get control over you again.
Remember you are not deciding for yourself. This is a big responsibility and should not be taken lightly. Don't make the choice because a doctor tells you a drug should be administered. Most doctors don't read the PDR unless you make them. They get most of their info from the drug company representatives that drop off free samples at there office.
If I listened to the doctor my mother would be dead by now. No matter what your going to need to make some hard choices. Make sure you can live with them. Just do you best. That's all I can ask of you. Early onset forms of this disease are on the rise.
You could wake up tomorrow and friend or family member may get the first subtle thought that there is something different with you. When you are this close to Alzheimer's disease you notice your own forgetfulness more and in those around you. There was something else I wanted to say if I could only remember what it was.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Alzheimer's Music Hath Charms To Soothe
The day can vary extensively from day to day regardless of what stage of Alzheimer's Disease the person is in. Many of the symptoms may overlap and that's why I don't even consider regarding them as accurate. There can be many changes happening and if things look like they are getting worst don't think the person won't snap back.
There will be periods of time where the Alzheimer's patient will get worse for maybe hours or even a week or two. This is normal and then just when you think the change is permanent they are back. This is harder on the caregiver and after you go through it a few times and see this happen for your self it will be less stressful. Get used to it because it will happen through out the course of the illness.
In the beginning stages its simple but you still need to keep an eye on them because you don't know when the person with Alzheimer's will manifest a symptom that needs supervision. When the Alzheimer's patient still knows what's going on you should be vigilant but invisible as possible or they will feel uncomfortable with you staring at them. Be less obvious so they feel like the setting is normal and not supervised even though it is.
You should be aware of what they are doing but they shouldn't feel watched. Be sneaky. If you need to get a closer look have a reason to go over to see what they are doing. Don't make it seem watching is the reason. Bring them a drink or a healthy snack. Have a question to ask them. This is a good practice regardless of the stage.
Keep things upbeat and happy. At the end of the day the conversations and activity may not be remembered but the emotion of the day will stick with them. Your main purpose besides the necessities is to keep them in a state of happiness and give the the feeling they are loved. Do not complain to them or tell them the things that worry you. That's for you to deal with and they don't need that in their world such as it is. If the person with Alzheimer's feels happy and loved you did good.
Don't just be with your friend with Alzheimer's when you must be to do your minimum required duties. Each day spend quality time with them. Hold their hand and with a friendly face talk to them in pleasant tones. Brush their hair or gently stroke their head. Give them a back rub or massage. Give them hugs through out the day. A kiss upon the forehead or cheek. The touch of another can be one of the most comforting and healing things. Read or sing to them. It doesn't matter if they don't understand the will enjoy the interaction.
Music hath charms to soothe the savage breast. To soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak... I noticed this by accident. On days when Edith can't get a recognizable word out and her confusion can't hide if I start to sing or hum a tune she will start to join me. I must repeat it several times before she starts. I have also had some success with children's rhymes.
This stuff stays in her memory longer for some reason. I can't sing and if you heard me you would either laugh or tell me to please stop it. Even though I can't carry a tune it works. So if you can't sing and it is embarrassing to you do it anyway. To think they told me in grade school that acting as the class clown wasn't going to help me in life.
Even if I make up the tune and the words. When I can't get her to remember 5 minutes ago when conversation is involved she will start singing or humming the tune a half hour later. If I can keep this up for a half hour or more it seems to help her regain her ability to access her language skills again. When she's having a day with communication difficulties it's worth trying. Every little bit I can stimulate her makes it easier on the both of us.
Music isn't just helpful for the person with Alzheimer's disease or Alzheimer's like symptoms it can really help the caregiver. When you have too much to do and feeling overwhelmed put on some music. Let it use it's charms to soothe the savage beast in you.
There will be periods of time where the Alzheimer's patient will get worse for maybe hours or even a week or two. This is normal and then just when you think the change is permanent they are back. This is harder on the caregiver and after you go through it a few times and see this happen for your self it will be less stressful. Get used to it because it will happen through out the course of the illness.
In the beginning stages its simple but you still need to keep an eye on them because you don't know when the person with Alzheimer's will manifest a symptom that needs supervision. When the Alzheimer's patient still knows what's going on you should be vigilant but invisible as possible or they will feel uncomfortable with you staring at them. Be less obvious so they feel like the setting is normal and not supervised even though it is.
You should be aware of what they are doing but they shouldn't feel watched. Be sneaky. If you need to get a closer look have a reason to go over to see what they are doing. Don't make it seem watching is the reason. Bring them a drink or a healthy snack. Have a question to ask them. This is a good practice regardless of the stage.
Keep things upbeat and happy. At the end of the day the conversations and activity may not be remembered but the emotion of the day will stick with them. Your main purpose besides the necessities is to keep them in a state of happiness and give the the feeling they are loved. Do not complain to them or tell them the things that worry you. That's for you to deal with and they don't need that in their world such as it is. If the person with Alzheimer's feels happy and loved you did good.
Don't just be with your friend with Alzheimer's when you must be to do your minimum required duties. Each day spend quality time with them. Hold their hand and with a friendly face talk to them in pleasant tones. Brush their hair or gently stroke their head. Give them a back rub or massage. Give them hugs through out the day. A kiss upon the forehead or cheek. The touch of another can be one of the most comforting and healing things. Read or sing to them. It doesn't matter if they don't understand the will enjoy the interaction.
Music hath charms to soothe the savage breast. To soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak... I noticed this by accident. On days when Edith can't get a recognizable word out and her confusion can't hide if I start to sing or hum a tune she will start to join me. I must repeat it several times before she starts. I have also had some success with children's rhymes.
This stuff stays in her memory longer for some reason. I can't sing and if you heard me you would either laugh or tell me to please stop it. Even though I can't carry a tune it works. So if you can't sing and it is embarrassing to you do it anyway. To think they told me in grade school that acting as the class clown wasn't going to help me in life.
Even if I make up the tune and the words. When I can't get her to remember 5 minutes ago when conversation is involved she will start singing or humming the tune a half hour later. If I can keep this up for a half hour or more it seems to help her regain her ability to access her language skills again. When she's having a day with communication difficulties it's worth trying. Every little bit I can stimulate her makes it easier on the both of us.
Music isn't just helpful for the person with Alzheimer's disease or Alzheimer's like symptoms it can really help the caregiver. When you have too much to do and feeling overwhelmed put on some music. Let it use it's charms to soothe the savage beast in you.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Alzheimer's Treasures And Traps
Even though I forgot to set out the treasures and traps today wasn't to bad. The first thing I came across was a coffee cup on the counter by the kitchen sink. A puddle of liquid around the cup and something orange colored in the cup. It did look drinkable but I knew we didn't have orange drink in the house. Orange juice but not drink. This one was easy it was liquid dish soap - yum.
She got into the a zip lock bag I had those small packages of condiments like ketchup and horseradish and soy sauce and duck sauce etc. I found the bag along the side of her recliner chair and one of her pockets full. Luckily she didn't start opening them. When she does the contents end up everywhere.
Just our luck. While I was writing this I was concentrating to much on this and not enough on my mother. She made the trek to the bathroom on the other side of the house and started to go before she had managed to sit all the way down and it splattered all over the back of the toilet seat, the toilet tank, the sink cabinet, the back wall, the side wall and the floor. Amazingly she wasn't a mess. So I'm just back from cleaning that mess up.
I just found some other things moved around in the kitchen but no big deal. I went to get tea bags out and she had moved everything around in there and put measuring cups in with the tea bags. With Alzheimer's a person will pick something up and instantly forget where they got it. It seems that instead of just putting it back on the counter there is a need to put it away. Even if it's the wrong place and it always is.
Things will be put in the most abstract places. In different rooms and in a place that has no similar items. Like taking measuring spoons from the kitchen and going into another room and putting them in the desk or in the back corner of a closet. Sometimes you don't find them during a search but come across them by accident days, weeks or even longer.
It can be completely normal when you get up or like this and of course there will be days you'll just want to run away screaming. Every body will need to deal with different things but as you learn the different patterns that some one with Alzheimer's has you can set little diversions that catch their attention. Leave things around that will spark an interest but they can't make a mess with or at least a mess that's easy to clean up.
It's easier to clean up little pieces of tissue paper than it is maple syrup. Things that a small child would find interesting sometimes work. You may have to design the trap to a specific tendency. I noticed my mother can't stand it if a tissue or a piece of toilet paper has a ripped edge. She will tear little pieces off over and over again trying to get a straight edge.
If I leave out a few torn tissues or a strip of toilet paper by her chair she will see them and start trying to fix the irregular edge. I may leave a pile of say 10 tissues on the arm of her chair and she will pick each one up and examine it and compare it to the others. She then often folds them up one at a time into little squares. She can get quite involved in it and seems to even enjoy it.
Let them explore and find these little treasures and traps so they won't get into the things you don't want them to get into. Once they find their little treasure they often sneak off with it to try and figure what it is and that can keep them busy for quite some time. Just remember to keep an eye on them and make sure they don't have something harmful.
This is a way I have found that keeps mom active and moving around instead of just sitting in her chair. All activity you can come up with is good. It's much easier to help some one that can move around. It's good for them and for you the caregiver.
I try to set up several of these in different places and try to offer some variety. If a person has Alzheimer's disease or has Alzheimer's like symptoms they don't seem to be creatures of habit. Each time they wake up they may go a different direction and anything they see that catches their eye or anything they hear may attract them.
That's why I leave the television on. No matter where she is in the house she can hear it. 99 percent of the time I can count on that to get her attention. She will search for the source of the sound. When she gets there she will see her favorite chair and on the table next to it a snack and a drink. I put other things there that have caught her interest in the past to keep her there and busy.
If I'm sleeping and wake up I walk through the house to see if my little Alzheimer's friend has been up and about. I check on her and then I go check the treasures and traps I have spread around the house before I go back to sleep. This can give up a good idea of the extent of the activity while your asleep. You will probably be surprised.
She got into the a zip lock bag I had those small packages of condiments like ketchup and horseradish and soy sauce and duck sauce etc. I found the bag along the side of her recliner chair and one of her pockets full. Luckily she didn't start opening them. When she does the contents end up everywhere.
Just our luck. While I was writing this I was concentrating to much on this and not enough on my mother. She made the trek to the bathroom on the other side of the house and started to go before she had managed to sit all the way down and it splattered all over the back of the toilet seat, the toilet tank, the sink cabinet, the back wall, the side wall and the floor. Amazingly she wasn't a mess. So I'm just back from cleaning that mess up.
I just found some other things moved around in the kitchen but no big deal. I went to get tea bags out and she had moved everything around in there and put measuring cups in with the tea bags. With Alzheimer's a person will pick something up and instantly forget where they got it. It seems that instead of just putting it back on the counter there is a need to put it away. Even if it's the wrong place and it always is.
Things will be put in the most abstract places. In different rooms and in a place that has no similar items. Like taking measuring spoons from the kitchen and going into another room and putting them in the desk or in the back corner of a closet. Sometimes you don't find them during a search but come across them by accident days, weeks or even longer.
It can be completely normal when you get up or like this and of course there will be days you'll just want to run away screaming. Every body will need to deal with different things but as you learn the different patterns that some one with Alzheimer's has you can set little diversions that catch their attention. Leave things around that will spark an interest but they can't make a mess with or at least a mess that's easy to clean up.
It's easier to clean up little pieces of tissue paper than it is maple syrup. Things that a small child would find interesting sometimes work. You may have to design the trap to a specific tendency. I noticed my mother can't stand it if a tissue or a piece of toilet paper has a ripped edge. She will tear little pieces off over and over again trying to get a straight edge.
If I leave out a few torn tissues or a strip of toilet paper by her chair she will see them and start trying to fix the irregular edge. I may leave a pile of say 10 tissues on the arm of her chair and she will pick each one up and examine it and compare it to the others. She then often folds them up one at a time into little squares. She can get quite involved in it and seems to even enjoy it.
Let them explore and find these little treasures and traps so they won't get into the things you don't want them to get into. Once they find their little treasure they often sneak off with it to try and figure what it is and that can keep them busy for quite some time. Just remember to keep an eye on them and make sure they don't have something harmful.
This is a way I have found that keeps mom active and moving around instead of just sitting in her chair. All activity you can come up with is good. It's much easier to help some one that can move around. It's good for them and for you the caregiver.
I try to set up several of these in different places and try to offer some variety. If a person has Alzheimer's disease or has Alzheimer's like symptoms they don't seem to be creatures of habit. Each time they wake up they may go a different direction and anything they see that catches their eye or anything they hear may attract them.
That's why I leave the television on. No matter where she is in the house she can hear it. 99 percent of the time I can count on that to get her attention. She will search for the source of the sound. When she gets there she will see her favorite chair and on the table next to it a snack and a drink. I put other things there that have caught her interest in the past to keep her there and busy.
If I'm sleeping and wake up I walk through the house to see if my little Alzheimer's friend has been up and about. I check on her and then I go check the treasures and traps I have spread around the house before I go back to sleep. This can give up a good idea of the extent of the activity while your asleep. You will probably be surprised.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Alzheimer's Caregivers Need Sleep Too.
Yesterday was one of my challenging days. Very early in the morning I was finishing up some things I wanted get done before I went to sleep. I was thinking to myself - It's 2:00 A.M. and it looks like I might get to catch up on some long needed sleep. You see my mother has Alzheimer's disease and she Had been keeping me awake. When some one has Alzheimer's it's better if you can sleep at the same time they do.
This isn't always possible because sometimes things need to get done and you don't get the chance while they are awake. So sooner or later you need to use some of their down time to catch up. Sometimes I just don't want a lot of stuff waiting for me when I get up so I try to do as much as I can before sleep. I know I'll have an easier day and I use it as kind of an alone time to slow down and think with out interruption and get in the mood to sleep.
I had a load of soiled clothes in the washer. Not every time but sometimes a person with Alzheimer's doesn't realize when they should head for the bathroom or where the bathroom is. They might not make it on time or may start to have their bowel movement before they sit down all the way. Oops. We have two bathrooms and for some reason mom will forget the one she's 10 feet from and walk though the house to the other one. This is not a good choice when time is of the essence.
When I think of it I often ask her if she feels like she could go. If she is walking around and near the bathroom I will ask her to go and see if she can go even if she says she doesn't need to go. About eighty percent of they time she can go when she thinks she can not or doesn't feel she needs to. Remember to always be nice about it. If it's upsetting to the person with Alzheimer's it's better to back off ten minutes and try again. Trickery is allowed with Alzheimer's and as long as they feel good through the process and after use it.
I like to get any soiled clothes, towels, sheets and carpets clean before I retire for the day. The day left me with those kind of chores. Around 2:30 A.M. I was exhausted and just wanted to sit down for a few minutes. When I went to get up my lower back was out. Not a little out this was major. When this happens everything slows down by necessity. I got the wash into the dryer and did as little as possible until just before 7:00 A.M. when I could head for the Chiropractor. I made it there but never slept until I got back.
When I got home my mother was still sleeping so I decided I would a least try to get a nap. After about 2 hours of sleep the neighbor decided to mow his grass and that ended my nap. I got up to see what was going on in the house and as I passed my mothers bedroom I saw she wasn't in bed. When she gets up to go to the bathroom during the night she may forget she was sleeping and head over to the other side of the house and sit in her reclining chair.
I found this would happen even if the lights are off in the rest of the house. For fear of her walking through a dark room and falling down I now leave one light on in each room of the house except the bedrooms. Enough light enters the bedrooms from the hall light. I also keep the television on in the room with her chair. I do this to catch her attention. Sort of like a moth to the flame.
This will often entertain her enough to keep her from exploring and moving things all over the place. It's a lot better than getting up the next day and find you need to search the whole house for stuff you need. You can't hide and lock up everything or you spend all your time hiding stuff or locking and unlocking everything.
As I approached the back room I could see she wasn't in her chair so I headed for the bathroom in the back corner of the room and she was not to be found. What I did find was the dreaded Alzheimer's misplaced bowel movement. Down the front of the toilet and on the floor. The soiled underwear cleverly hanging from the top corner of the door of the cabinet under the sink. I could see she had made an attempt at cleaning it up.
Please remember the person Alzheimer's disease doesn't do this on purpose and they don't like having a bowel movement all over them. They need to have some one clean then up even after they try to clean themselves up. I can not say this enough so hear goes. Do not get mad at them or show that your are upset or yell about the mess. It will be better off for all concerned if this is handled with a smile and comforting words and actions.
Anything you are thinking or feeling isn't between you and the person with Alzheimer's. If you feel upset or mad or like yelling it is between you and your god. These are your trials and tribulations and has nothing to do with the person with Alzheimer's.
Back to the bedroom and there she was sitting on the edge of her bed with a lost look on her face. She was there all the time but was in a part of the room you can't see if you just walk by the door. I'm so used to seeing that and finding her in her chair I didn't look completely inside as I passed.
I got her up and guided her down the hall to the clean bathroom and got her washed off and helped her get into some clean clothes and back over to her bed and tucked her in. I got her into bed by telling her it wasn't time to get up yet.
This gave me time to then go over and scrub and disinfect the bathroom and to search the house for any other clothes or the like that needed to be washed. Did I mention that a person with Alzheimer's may place their soiled clothing in the strangest places and may require you to search them out. I still can't find a shoe and I've looked all over the place.
Getting down on you hands and knees and cleaning up something that smells really bad until your done isn't my favorite thing. This mess wasn't as bad as some because it just involved the front portion of the toilet, the floor, the cabinet door and the sink. Often this is very watery or even maybe gel like. It goes everywhere. Even places you won't think to look so check everywhere if you are in a similar situation. Believe me it's so much easier when it's fresh.
When some one has Alzheimer's they do a few things when they make a mess. One is they may try to clean the mess up. The mess becomes harder to see but it is smeared over a much larger area. I prefer this didn't happen because there is always a lot more to clean and they get it on their hands and anywhere they touch needs to be cleaned and disinfected. Sometimes they get distracted and just leave it. Now comes the one I like the least. The person with Alzheimer's decides to try to clean up the mess but then goes on to hide any thing that has poop on it.
I'll warn you that they won't hide everything in the same place. This is why its good to know what was there before the accident and what they were wearing and what they carry around with them. That way you have a general idea what you need to find.
Now I have the really bad area cleaned and start to look for anything I may need to clean between the bathroom and where I found mom. Then I go to the bathroom I cleaned her up in and clean that up. Don't stop to take a rest until you get done. If you do a person with Alzheimer's may find their way back into the mess.
If you can't get them to go lay down for a while try to find something to keep them out of the soiled area. It might be a show on the television and maybe music will work sometimes or a snack. Whatever you do make sure you get them to wash their hands or you do it for them. If they do it make sure you supervise. I usually combine the two.
I keep moms fingernails short and I have a soft bristled tooth brush I use to help clean the fingernails and do it often. A person with Alzheimer's will put their fingers in anything so you want to clean the nails well. Remember to keep it light hearted and fun. Talk to them while your helping them and if you don't understand what they say back act like you do. Put a smile on your face and throw in a laugh here and there. It's contagious.
When cleaning I wear throw away purple nitrile exam gloves. I don't care for the vinyl gloves because they don't fit well and the latex gloves fail or rip easily. I try to use the safest cleaners I can find that still do the job and I use a separate disinfectant.
Use natural green products because every thing you use will get into you and the person you are taking care of. If some one gets a rash you'll know it wasn't from some harsh chemical cleaner. If the person with Alzheimer's gets into it when your not looking the outcome won't be as serious.
To deal with the smell I have found that the air freshener sprays just don't work well. I use essential oils and find them to work well. There are many to pick from and you can find oils that smell really good and kill germs at the same time. One or two sprays is all you need.
As far as clothes, towels, wash clothes or sheets etc go it's good to get them in the washer and let them soak with something to kill the germs and some soap. You can wash them when ever you have the time. Do it when your at home and not sleeping. Never leave a washer or dryer on without being home and awake.
The hoses on a washer can burst and flood your house and the pans they now put under the washer isn't going to take care of a pressurized hose bursting. The dryer can cause a fire because of the lint. The lint trap collects a lot of it but some always gets by and collects in the vent. If this lint catches fire and your not home or if you are asleep the outcome will be tragic.
Now that the unexpected has happened and has been dealt with the rest of the day can start. These messes can happen at any time and I don't always wake up to a mess that needs to be cleaned up. This type of thing can be worse than I just described and has been and will be. You just need to accept that this will happen and if you expect it you will find it easier to deal with. Now that you know this is going to happen you won't get upset about it as easily.
It will happen at the worse time. Waking up to it is never fun but neither is knowing you need to be somewhere and you can not make it on time because you need to change your schedule and start cleaning. Maybe people are coming over to the house and all of a sudden there is a streak of watery poop across the carpet and the bathroom is a mess and the smell is terrible and the person with Alzheimer's needs to get a bath or shower.
This is only one type of mess you will need to deal with so get yourself a sense of humor and give up the idea that you need to be in control and that things should go the way you think they should. The only thing you can control is you. Try it right now. Go ahead smile. Better yet let go and laugh out loud. Don't tell any body your going to do it just start laughing hard and loud. Laughing hard is a good way to give yourself an energy boost.
When something like this happens I take advantage of every chance I can to nap. This might happen soon after mom gets up. She may come over and sit in her chair and fall asleep. If she does I'll sit down in the chair next to hers and nap at the same time. Most of the time I know I need to make it more than half way through the day before she wants to take a nap. If she decides to recline in her chair I know that's only good for a half an hour to an hour of nap time. If she wants to go over on her bed for a nap I can usually squeeze 3 or 4 hours into the nap.
Try your best to get a full nights sleep each day. If you can't get it in one sleep period that's fine as long as you can add it all up to equal a full nights sleep. If it's not at least 2 hours long I don't count it. A half hour nap may help you feel better but it won't get your body to start detoxifying. Your body does most of its detoxifying and healing during sleep according to me.
O sleep! O gentle sleep!
Nature’s soft nurse, how have I frighted thee,
That thou no more wilt weigh my eyelids down
And steep my senses in forgetfulness?
This isn't always possible because sometimes things need to get done and you don't get the chance while they are awake. So sooner or later you need to use some of their down time to catch up. Sometimes I just don't want a lot of stuff waiting for me when I get up so I try to do as much as I can before sleep. I know I'll have an easier day and I use it as kind of an alone time to slow down and think with out interruption and get in the mood to sleep.
I had a load of soiled clothes in the washer. Not every time but sometimes a person with Alzheimer's doesn't realize when they should head for the bathroom or where the bathroom is. They might not make it on time or may start to have their bowel movement before they sit down all the way. Oops. We have two bathrooms and for some reason mom will forget the one she's 10 feet from and walk though the house to the other one. This is not a good choice when time is of the essence.
When I think of it I often ask her if she feels like she could go. If she is walking around and near the bathroom I will ask her to go and see if she can go even if she says she doesn't need to go. About eighty percent of they time she can go when she thinks she can not or doesn't feel she needs to. Remember to always be nice about it. If it's upsetting to the person with Alzheimer's it's better to back off ten minutes and try again. Trickery is allowed with Alzheimer's and as long as they feel good through the process and after use it.
I like to get any soiled clothes, towels, sheets and carpets clean before I retire for the day. The day left me with those kind of chores. Around 2:30 A.M. I was exhausted and just wanted to sit down for a few minutes. When I went to get up my lower back was out. Not a little out this was major. When this happens everything slows down by necessity. I got the wash into the dryer and did as little as possible until just before 7:00 A.M. when I could head for the Chiropractor. I made it there but never slept until I got back.
When I got home my mother was still sleeping so I decided I would a least try to get a nap. After about 2 hours of sleep the neighbor decided to mow his grass and that ended my nap. I got up to see what was going on in the house and as I passed my mothers bedroom I saw she wasn't in bed. When she gets up to go to the bathroom during the night she may forget she was sleeping and head over to the other side of the house and sit in her reclining chair.
I found this would happen even if the lights are off in the rest of the house. For fear of her walking through a dark room and falling down I now leave one light on in each room of the house except the bedrooms. Enough light enters the bedrooms from the hall light. I also keep the television on in the room with her chair. I do this to catch her attention. Sort of like a moth to the flame.
This will often entertain her enough to keep her from exploring and moving things all over the place. It's a lot better than getting up the next day and find you need to search the whole house for stuff you need. You can't hide and lock up everything or you spend all your time hiding stuff or locking and unlocking everything.
As I approached the back room I could see she wasn't in her chair so I headed for the bathroom in the back corner of the room and she was not to be found. What I did find was the dreaded Alzheimer's misplaced bowel movement. Down the front of the toilet and on the floor. The soiled underwear cleverly hanging from the top corner of the door of the cabinet under the sink. I could see she had made an attempt at cleaning it up.
Please remember the person Alzheimer's disease doesn't do this on purpose and they don't like having a bowel movement all over them. They need to have some one clean then up even after they try to clean themselves up. I can not say this enough so hear goes. Do not get mad at them or show that your are upset or yell about the mess. It will be better off for all concerned if this is handled with a smile and comforting words and actions.
Anything you are thinking or feeling isn't between you and the person with Alzheimer's. If you feel upset or mad or like yelling it is between you and your god. These are your trials and tribulations and has nothing to do with the person with Alzheimer's.
Back to the bedroom and there she was sitting on the edge of her bed with a lost look on her face. She was there all the time but was in a part of the room you can't see if you just walk by the door. I'm so used to seeing that and finding her in her chair I didn't look completely inside as I passed.
I got her up and guided her down the hall to the clean bathroom and got her washed off and helped her get into some clean clothes and back over to her bed and tucked her in. I got her into bed by telling her it wasn't time to get up yet.
This gave me time to then go over and scrub and disinfect the bathroom and to search the house for any other clothes or the like that needed to be washed. Did I mention that a person with Alzheimer's may place their soiled clothing in the strangest places and may require you to search them out. I still can't find a shoe and I've looked all over the place.
Getting down on you hands and knees and cleaning up something that smells really bad until your done isn't my favorite thing. This mess wasn't as bad as some because it just involved the front portion of the toilet, the floor, the cabinet door and the sink. Often this is very watery or even maybe gel like. It goes everywhere. Even places you won't think to look so check everywhere if you are in a similar situation. Believe me it's so much easier when it's fresh.
When some one has Alzheimer's they do a few things when they make a mess. One is they may try to clean the mess up. The mess becomes harder to see but it is smeared over a much larger area. I prefer this didn't happen because there is always a lot more to clean and they get it on their hands and anywhere they touch needs to be cleaned and disinfected. Sometimes they get distracted and just leave it. Now comes the one I like the least. The person with Alzheimer's decides to try to clean up the mess but then goes on to hide any thing that has poop on it.
I'll warn you that they won't hide everything in the same place. This is why its good to know what was there before the accident and what they were wearing and what they carry around with them. That way you have a general idea what you need to find.
Now I have the really bad area cleaned and start to look for anything I may need to clean between the bathroom and where I found mom. Then I go to the bathroom I cleaned her up in and clean that up. Don't stop to take a rest until you get done. If you do a person with Alzheimer's may find their way back into the mess.
If you can't get them to go lay down for a while try to find something to keep them out of the soiled area. It might be a show on the television and maybe music will work sometimes or a snack. Whatever you do make sure you get them to wash their hands or you do it for them. If they do it make sure you supervise. I usually combine the two.
I keep moms fingernails short and I have a soft bristled tooth brush I use to help clean the fingernails and do it often. A person with Alzheimer's will put their fingers in anything so you want to clean the nails well. Remember to keep it light hearted and fun. Talk to them while your helping them and if you don't understand what they say back act like you do. Put a smile on your face and throw in a laugh here and there. It's contagious.
When cleaning I wear throw away purple nitrile exam gloves. I don't care for the vinyl gloves because they don't fit well and the latex gloves fail or rip easily. I try to use the safest cleaners I can find that still do the job and I use a separate disinfectant.
Use natural green products because every thing you use will get into you and the person you are taking care of. If some one gets a rash you'll know it wasn't from some harsh chemical cleaner. If the person with Alzheimer's gets into it when your not looking the outcome won't be as serious.
To deal with the smell I have found that the air freshener sprays just don't work well. I use essential oils and find them to work well. There are many to pick from and you can find oils that smell really good and kill germs at the same time. One or two sprays is all you need.
As far as clothes, towels, wash clothes or sheets etc go it's good to get them in the washer and let them soak with something to kill the germs and some soap. You can wash them when ever you have the time. Do it when your at home and not sleeping. Never leave a washer or dryer on without being home and awake.
The hoses on a washer can burst and flood your house and the pans they now put under the washer isn't going to take care of a pressurized hose bursting. The dryer can cause a fire because of the lint. The lint trap collects a lot of it but some always gets by and collects in the vent. If this lint catches fire and your not home or if you are asleep the outcome will be tragic.
Now that the unexpected has happened and has been dealt with the rest of the day can start. These messes can happen at any time and I don't always wake up to a mess that needs to be cleaned up. This type of thing can be worse than I just described and has been and will be. You just need to accept that this will happen and if you expect it you will find it easier to deal with. Now that you know this is going to happen you won't get upset about it as easily.
It will happen at the worse time. Waking up to it is never fun but neither is knowing you need to be somewhere and you can not make it on time because you need to change your schedule and start cleaning. Maybe people are coming over to the house and all of a sudden there is a streak of watery poop across the carpet and the bathroom is a mess and the smell is terrible and the person with Alzheimer's needs to get a bath or shower.
This is only one type of mess you will need to deal with so get yourself a sense of humor and give up the idea that you need to be in control and that things should go the way you think they should. The only thing you can control is you. Try it right now. Go ahead smile. Better yet let go and laugh out loud. Don't tell any body your going to do it just start laughing hard and loud. Laughing hard is a good way to give yourself an energy boost.
When something like this happens I take advantage of every chance I can to nap. This might happen soon after mom gets up. She may come over and sit in her chair and fall asleep. If she does I'll sit down in the chair next to hers and nap at the same time. Most of the time I know I need to make it more than half way through the day before she wants to take a nap. If she decides to recline in her chair I know that's only good for a half an hour to an hour of nap time. If she wants to go over on her bed for a nap I can usually squeeze 3 or 4 hours into the nap.
Try your best to get a full nights sleep each day. If you can't get it in one sleep period that's fine as long as you can add it all up to equal a full nights sleep. If it's not at least 2 hours long I don't count it. A half hour nap may help you feel better but it won't get your body to start detoxifying. Your body does most of its detoxifying and healing during sleep according to me.
O sleep! O gentle sleep!
Nature’s soft nurse, how have I frighted thee,
That thou no more wilt weigh my eyelids down
And steep my senses in forgetfulness?
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Alzheimer's Coincidence Or Divine Intervention
This happened about a week and a half ago. Better late than never. Ever notice that even with the best intentions to sit down and get some work done things happen to distract you from it and in the end it seems like you were being guided. I had one of those days. Mom was more interactive this day and kept asking me to come out to the room she was in. She just wanted to spend time with me.
This happens often but this time she was pestering me every few minutes. With Alzheimer's disease it's unusual that she could keep that idea going for as long as she did. I resigned to the fact I wasn't going to get anything done any way so I went out and sat down.
Being with a person that has Alzheimer's disease you become aware of things most people might not notice. When I'm at the computer I constantly listen for the slightest noise or vibration or movement caught out the corners of my eyes. You begin to notice patterns of normal activity. Anything that is outside of that pattern catches your attention. Your awareness of everything around you is heightened.
The room we were in has large windows one next to the other. You see around outside very well. The road isn't far about 50 or 60 feet but with the trees and bushes you only see a glimpse of part of a car or person. We live on a corner property and it's normal for people to turn onto the road and stop to get their bearings or pick something up that slid off their seat.
If you look toward the bottom of the yard you see a longer stretch of road. Well I see a car slowing down but I don't see it stop because of the bushes. I looked toward the bottom of the yard and I see a car the same color almost stopping and then doing this again and again. I've seen this before when a cat or dog is on the run to freedom.
If a pet gets free in the area it often shows up here. The yard is full of bushes that were planted as food sources and cover for birds. This landscape seems to attract runaway pets too. About 15 minutes past and I see the car go by again. I go out but it's to far down the road for them to notice me. I go back in and sit down and about the time I expect the car to come past again I start looking out the door. Instead of the car I see an elderly woman walk past the door, go down the steps onto the driveway and head for the backyard. Now that was out of the ordinary. I went out and asked her it I could help. Was she looking for her pet?
By her response I could tell she had memory problems. Not lost to the world but not all there either. I asked her where she was trying to get to and who she was. She new her name (RUTH) so that helped and she was going to her son's house. She gave the name of the road we are on but said she was looking for the big house and didn't know the address.
All the houses are about the same size one this road. I asked where she was coming from and she mentioned her daughter and pointed up the other road and said it was over the hill but didn't know the address there. Her house was about 10 miles away. She was visiting her daughter and no one was there because her daughter had to work. So she decided to walk to
her son's house.
It was hot out and she looked a little hot so I got her to come into the air conditioned house and I looked for her son's name in the phone book. His name wasn't but there was a women in there on my road with the same last name. Two numbers and both had answering machines. I left messages. She knew her son's name but not his wife's first name. I didn't know for sure so I also called the operator for more help but she had no listings for Ruth's son.
I got her something to drink but you need to take care because you don't know if they have health issues. Can they have sugars or are they allergic to anything. Now I had 2 elderly women with Alzheimer's in the house. I lucked out. Both pleasant, happy and talkative. She mentioned she had been walking for quite a while. She was ready to get on her way so I kept talking about different stuff to distract her. I didn't feel it was safe for her to wander off on her own.
If she did take off I would have to call the police and get them involved and I hadn't ruled that out for the current situation. She was starting to say her goodbyes and thank you for being so helpful when the phone rang. It was her son. It was him driving slowly past just before she showed up here and was driving all over the area looking for her. His sister called him and said she wasn't there when she got home.
He said that three other people had left messages on his answering machine and one had mentioned giving her a ride to the corner I live on. Nobody had taken her into custody and kept her. They just let her go. I'm happy to say this had a happy ending. It worked out well for the son because I had gone through my mother running away. I was able to calm him down and let him know other people go through the same thing.
The poor guy was so worried he was shaking. He didn't seem mad about it but he wasn't very open about what he was going through. You could tell it was forcing him to make some mental adjustments. This isn't unusual when your a newbie caregiver or family member trying to deal with Alzheimer's.
Being experienced I gave him some tips and what he should consider doing so this doesn't happen again. All the talking in the world isn't going to give you the skills you need. It does help when something happens but experience gives you the skills. He seemed to look like the shaking had stopped. He was off to get home and tell everyone she was safe.
See what I mean. If things hadn't happened just the way they did. If mom hadn't kept coming in and asking me to come out to the back room and sit with her. She must have come in and asked me seven times. That's a pretty long time for her to stay focused on something. It was as if there was some guiding force nudging her to nudge me.
It seemed it was meant that I saw Ruth go past the door. I thought it strange that her name was Ruth. My mothers sister is also named Ruth. She also has Alzheimer's disease like symptoms. It might have been Ruth's last chance to get home safely. I didn't notice as it was happening but when it was over I thought how many things had to fall in place. I wonder was this all a coincidence or was there some sort of divine intervention happening.
In some strange way I feel like I was being gently guided into the right place at the right time. What do you think? Do you feel like you have ever been nudged or guided? To do something or that you ended up somewhere at a certain time that made you think. What if?
This happens often but this time she was pestering me every few minutes. With Alzheimer's disease it's unusual that she could keep that idea going for as long as she did. I resigned to the fact I wasn't going to get anything done any way so I went out and sat down.
Being with a person that has Alzheimer's disease you become aware of things most people might not notice. When I'm at the computer I constantly listen for the slightest noise or vibration or movement caught out the corners of my eyes. You begin to notice patterns of normal activity. Anything that is outside of that pattern catches your attention. Your awareness of everything around you is heightened.
The room we were in has large windows one next to the other. You see around outside very well. The road isn't far about 50 or 60 feet but with the trees and bushes you only see a glimpse of part of a car or person. We live on a corner property and it's normal for people to turn onto the road and stop to get their bearings or pick something up that slid off their seat.
If you look toward the bottom of the yard you see a longer stretch of road. Well I see a car slowing down but I don't see it stop because of the bushes. I looked toward the bottom of the yard and I see a car the same color almost stopping and then doing this again and again. I've seen this before when a cat or dog is on the run to freedom.
If a pet gets free in the area it often shows up here. The yard is full of bushes that were planted as food sources and cover for birds. This landscape seems to attract runaway pets too. About 15 minutes past and I see the car go by again. I go out but it's to far down the road for them to notice me. I go back in and sit down and about the time I expect the car to come past again I start looking out the door. Instead of the car I see an elderly woman walk past the door, go down the steps onto the driveway and head for the backyard. Now that was out of the ordinary. I went out and asked her it I could help. Was she looking for her pet?
By her response I could tell she had memory problems. Not lost to the world but not all there either. I asked her where she was trying to get to and who she was. She new her name (RUTH) so that helped and she was going to her son's house. She gave the name of the road we are on but said she was looking for the big house and didn't know the address.
All the houses are about the same size one this road. I asked where she was coming from and she mentioned her daughter and pointed up the other road and said it was over the hill but didn't know the address there. Her house was about 10 miles away. She was visiting her daughter and no one was there because her daughter had to work. So she decided to walk to
her son's house.
It was hot out and she looked a little hot so I got her to come into the air conditioned house and I looked for her son's name in the phone book. His name wasn't but there was a women in there on my road with the same last name. Two numbers and both had answering machines. I left messages. She knew her son's name but not his wife's first name. I didn't know for sure so I also called the operator for more help but she had no listings for Ruth's son.
I got her something to drink but you need to take care because you don't know if they have health issues. Can they have sugars or are they allergic to anything. Now I had 2 elderly women with Alzheimer's in the house. I lucked out. Both pleasant, happy and talkative. She mentioned she had been walking for quite a while. She was ready to get on her way so I kept talking about different stuff to distract her. I didn't feel it was safe for her to wander off on her own.
If she did take off I would have to call the police and get them involved and I hadn't ruled that out for the current situation. She was starting to say her goodbyes and thank you for being so helpful when the phone rang. It was her son. It was him driving slowly past just before she showed up here and was driving all over the area looking for her. His sister called him and said she wasn't there when she got home.
He said that three other people had left messages on his answering machine and one had mentioned giving her a ride to the corner I live on. Nobody had taken her into custody and kept her. They just let her go. I'm happy to say this had a happy ending. It worked out well for the son because I had gone through my mother running away. I was able to calm him down and let him know other people go through the same thing.
The poor guy was so worried he was shaking. He didn't seem mad about it but he wasn't very open about what he was going through. You could tell it was forcing him to make some mental adjustments. This isn't unusual when your a newbie caregiver or family member trying to deal with Alzheimer's.
Being experienced I gave him some tips and what he should consider doing so this doesn't happen again. All the talking in the world isn't going to give you the skills you need. It does help when something happens but experience gives you the skills. He seemed to look like the shaking had stopped. He was off to get home and tell everyone she was safe.
See what I mean. If things hadn't happened just the way they did. If mom hadn't kept coming in and asking me to come out to the back room and sit with her. She must have come in and asked me seven times. That's a pretty long time for her to stay focused on something. It was as if there was some guiding force nudging her to nudge me.
It seemed it was meant that I saw Ruth go past the door. I thought it strange that her name was Ruth. My mothers sister is also named Ruth. She also has Alzheimer's disease like symptoms. It might have been Ruth's last chance to get home safely. I didn't notice as it was happening but when it was over I thought how many things had to fall in place. I wonder was this all a coincidence or was there some sort of divine intervention happening.
In some strange way I feel like I was being gently guided into the right place at the right time. What do you think? Do you feel like you have ever been nudged or guided? To do something or that you ended up somewhere at a certain time that made you think. What if?
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Alzheimer's Run Rabbit Run.
I noticed mom was making quite a few references to things that happened decades ago. I remembered this is what my friends father started doing right before he would stand on the front porch and wait for his wife to pick him up so they could "go home and he could watch what he wanted on his television". Well he was already at his current home and his wife was inside and so was his television and he could watch what ever he wanted.
We saw him in the middle of the front yard watching for his ride as days passed. You could tell the way his was moving around and where he was looking he was thinking about walking home. The home they used to live in years ago. After he started to become impatient about waiting it was evident he had to be kept in the house unless he had some one with him every time. He was under close supervision from then on but most of the time he didn't know it.
As time goes by memory gets worse and they will need you to watch them more. Be sneaky watching them or they may find it strange to see you staring at them every time they look your way. The progression is going to be different in each person that has Alzheimer's disease. The symptoms may be different and it gets worse. You need to be aware that as their memory degenerates the memories from earlier in their life will seem to them to be current memories of things that just happened a little while ago.
It is important to take action and get locks on the exterior doors that need to be locked and unlocked with a key on the inside as well as the outside. I put a second set of locks on our doors and I'll never forget that day. Let me tell you my personal story of the day I wished had never happened.
One day out of the blue I felt compelled to put new deadbolts on the exterior doors. I new sooner or later I would have to do it. Why not Now? I went and bought two double (inside/outside) keyed deadbolt locks. One for the back door and one for the front. It was winter so it was cold but it had been going up in the low 40's during the day. It was a late purchase and the stores were closing. I didn't buy new drill bits because I was sure I had what I needed at home or so I thought.
The back door was easy because it already had a deadbolt so all I had to do was take the old one out and put the new one in. The front door was metal on both sides with a wood core. Well it turns out that the hole saw I had was for installing deadbolts in wood doors only. It was hard but I made it threw the inside surface but when it came to drilling from the outside in the hole saw did nothing but take the paint off the metal. Great - all the stores were closed by then.
This is where I should have thought about why I decided to put the locks in this particular day. Why did that pop into my head when it did. This is one of those times the universe was giving me a little nudge by putting that urge in my head. I listened enough to get started but didn't finish. I had realized in the past when I get that type of feeling I had better get it done or the universe was going to set me up with a strong wake up call. I was just so exhausted by that point it didn't register.
Since mom had not tried to leave to this point I decided it would be sufficient to block the door. I placed stuff in front of the door that was heavy to me thinking that a 130 pound 88 year old woman with Alzheimer's disease couldn't move everything and get out. I was tired and not thinking at the time. What I should have done was take the door handle assembly out and put the lock in there until the next day. I could have pushed one of the reclining chairs in front of the door and slept in it.
The next morning I got out of bed and as I always do I went for a walk about the house to see where my mother was. I walked into the living room and saw everything I had placed to block the door was strewn across the room. How this happened without waking me up I don't know. Instant panic.
I had thought about what it might be like when I saw this happening to other families. I can tell you it's so far beyond that and nothing you want to go through. Never! I just woke up and wasn't all there yet. I was thrown into a state of instant panic. What do I do first. I felt every minute that passed and every decision could determine the outcome. The adrenalin was on overdrive and my heart pounding. I felt I had to act fast and no time to think about it. It felt like I was thrust into an altered state of consciousness.
I ran to the door and it was unlocked. I ran around the house to see if by chance my worst nightmare wasn't really happening. I looked behind anything that could hide a person that might have fell down or was hiding but she wasn't there. I ran outside and around the house and looked everywhere. Then I ran to the neighbors and asked them if they had seen her but again no sign of mom. I noticed the crossing guard that stands at out corner in front of our house and ran to ask her. She hadn't seen her either.
I didn't even know what time she got out of the house. I ran inside and dialed 911 for the police and had to tell them my mother was missing and she had Alzheimer's. We live on a corner property so I went out to the corner and looked down both streets. The crossing guard was keeping an eye open for her when she wasn't helping the kids cross the road. There's a school across the street from us.
I was at the end of the drive way and a police car pulled up and there was mom in the back seat. Looking at me with a smile like nothing had happened. All these years I thought it would be her looking at me in the back of a police car. The Officer asked if he had the right address and then pulled in the driveway.
She wasn't in bad shape after the walk she took. They found her a couple of miles away as the crow flies. She wasn't dressed for the weather. All she took with her was two clean pillow cases, an ash tray in her pocket and a pair of the large plastic sun glasses they give you at the eye doctor after they put those drops in your eyes that make it hard to see. No coat, no identification, no regular glasses and she didn't have her false teeth either.
It's really hard to understand what she's saying when she has her false teeth out. The police officer told me the name she had given to him and it was her maiden name. There was no way to connect her to our address until I called. Only about 5 percent of the people with Alzheimer's disease make it home safe when they take off. The police officer said they were looking for a man that had disappeared the day before and was hoping they could find him before it was to late.
This happened January 24, 2006 and it has haunted me every day since. I constantly check the door to see if I locked it. I even check it if I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I know I checked it before I went to bed. You do it so often that when I remember doing it I want to make sure I'm remembering doing it right before bed. Not some memory of doing it another time sneaking in and making me think I did it when I have not.
I try to lock the door right after I unlock it and go in or out. Even if I'm unloading the car after food shopping. This is important because I sometimes get so tired that I could fall asleep when I don't plan to take a nap or sleep. I've grabbed a cookie and sat down for a couple of of minutes to watch the weather on the evening news. The next I know I'm waking up an hour later with half a cookie on my chest and cookie still in my mouth.
Always do safety and security stuff right away. Don't tell yourself you'll come back and do it in a few minutes. You might think it's easier or more convenient now but it's not easier or convenient the one time you forget and it leads to tragedy. Do it now!
When mom ran away I had no indication it was going to happen. While I was searching the house for her I noticed she had collected several piles of belonging to take with her. I guess she would start one pile and look for something else to take with her and she would forget about the stuff she had already had together. I found a small plastic waste can she had loaded up with shoes and a strange choice of things to take. So if you find little stashes of things it might not be collecting, hoarding or organizing. It might be the person with Alzheimer's is planning to travel.
When a person has Alzheimer's disease they try to return to the places they went to in their youth. The street they found my mother was were a girl friend she worked with at Bell Telephone had an apartment. Right across the street from the apartment was a diner she would meet up with her friends and they would eat or just have coffee. Having Alzheimer's you don't know where they may end up.
I'm glad she had not headed for one of the places she lived before I was born. When she lived there it was well kept and safe all times of the day and night. I don't feel safe going to that area now in the daytime. Who knows what could of happened to her. Maybe nothing. Even in the worst places there can be a kind person that decides to help the helpless.
I take my job as caregiver very serious and pride myself in doing whatever it takes. It's strange the way you can do everything right time after time. The one time you mess up is the one time you can't afford to.
We saw him in the middle of the front yard watching for his ride as days passed. You could tell the way his was moving around and where he was looking he was thinking about walking home. The home they used to live in years ago. After he started to become impatient about waiting it was evident he had to be kept in the house unless he had some one with him every time. He was under close supervision from then on but most of the time he didn't know it.
As time goes by memory gets worse and they will need you to watch them more. Be sneaky watching them or they may find it strange to see you staring at them every time they look your way. The progression is going to be different in each person that has Alzheimer's disease. The symptoms may be different and it gets worse. You need to be aware that as their memory degenerates the memories from earlier in their life will seem to them to be current memories of things that just happened a little while ago.
It is important to take action and get locks on the exterior doors that need to be locked and unlocked with a key on the inside as well as the outside. I put a second set of locks on our doors and I'll never forget that day. Let me tell you my personal story of the day I wished had never happened.
One day out of the blue I felt compelled to put new deadbolts on the exterior doors. I new sooner or later I would have to do it. Why not Now? I went and bought two double (inside/outside) keyed deadbolt locks. One for the back door and one for the front. It was winter so it was cold but it had been going up in the low 40's during the day. It was a late purchase and the stores were closing. I didn't buy new drill bits because I was sure I had what I needed at home or so I thought.
The back door was easy because it already had a deadbolt so all I had to do was take the old one out and put the new one in. The front door was metal on both sides with a wood core. Well it turns out that the hole saw I had was for installing deadbolts in wood doors only. It was hard but I made it threw the inside surface but when it came to drilling from the outside in the hole saw did nothing but take the paint off the metal. Great - all the stores were closed by then.
This is where I should have thought about why I decided to put the locks in this particular day. Why did that pop into my head when it did. This is one of those times the universe was giving me a little nudge by putting that urge in my head. I listened enough to get started but didn't finish. I had realized in the past when I get that type of feeling I had better get it done or the universe was going to set me up with a strong wake up call. I was just so exhausted by that point it didn't register.
Since mom had not tried to leave to this point I decided it would be sufficient to block the door. I placed stuff in front of the door that was heavy to me thinking that a 130 pound 88 year old woman with Alzheimer's disease couldn't move everything and get out. I was tired and not thinking at the time. What I should have done was take the door handle assembly out and put the lock in there until the next day. I could have pushed one of the reclining chairs in front of the door and slept in it.
The next morning I got out of bed and as I always do I went for a walk about the house to see where my mother was. I walked into the living room and saw everything I had placed to block the door was strewn across the room. How this happened without waking me up I don't know. Instant panic.
I had thought about what it might be like when I saw this happening to other families. I can tell you it's so far beyond that and nothing you want to go through. Never! I just woke up and wasn't all there yet. I was thrown into a state of instant panic. What do I do first. I felt every minute that passed and every decision could determine the outcome. The adrenalin was on overdrive and my heart pounding. I felt I had to act fast and no time to think about it. It felt like I was thrust into an altered state of consciousness.
I ran to the door and it was unlocked. I ran around the house to see if by chance my worst nightmare wasn't really happening. I looked behind anything that could hide a person that might have fell down or was hiding but she wasn't there. I ran outside and around the house and looked everywhere. Then I ran to the neighbors and asked them if they had seen her but again no sign of mom. I noticed the crossing guard that stands at out corner in front of our house and ran to ask her. She hadn't seen her either.
I didn't even know what time she got out of the house. I ran inside and dialed 911 for the police and had to tell them my mother was missing and she had Alzheimer's. We live on a corner property so I went out to the corner and looked down both streets. The crossing guard was keeping an eye open for her when she wasn't helping the kids cross the road. There's a school across the street from us.
I was at the end of the drive way and a police car pulled up and there was mom in the back seat. Looking at me with a smile like nothing had happened. All these years I thought it would be her looking at me in the back of a police car. The Officer asked if he had the right address and then pulled in the driveway.
She wasn't in bad shape after the walk she took. They found her a couple of miles away as the crow flies. She wasn't dressed for the weather. All she took with her was two clean pillow cases, an ash tray in her pocket and a pair of the large plastic sun glasses they give you at the eye doctor after they put those drops in your eyes that make it hard to see. No coat, no identification, no regular glasses and she didn't have her false teeth either.
It's really hard to understand what she's saying when she has her false teeth out. The police officer told me the name she had given to him and it was her maiden name. There was no way to connect her to our address until I called. Only about 5 percent of the people with Alzheimer's disease make it home safe when they take off. The police officer said they were looking for a man that had disappeared the day before and was hoping they could find him before it was to late.
This happened January 24, 2006 and it has haunted me every day since. I constantly check the door to see if I locked it. I even check it if I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I know I checked it before I went to bed. You do it so often that when I remember doing it I want to make sure I'm remembering doing it right before bed. Not some memory of doing it another time sneaking in and making me think I did it when I have not.
I try to lock the door right after I unlock it and go in or out. Even if I'm unloading the car after food shopping. This is important because I sometimes get so tired that I could fall asleep when I don't plan to take a nap or sleep. I've grabbed a cookie and sat down for a couple of of minutes to watch the weather on the evening news. The next I know I'm waking up an hour later with half a cookie on my chest and cookie still in my mouth.
Always do safety and security stuff right away. Don't tell yourself you'll come back and do it in a few minutes. You might think it's easier or more convenient now but it's not easier or convenient the one time you forget and it leads to tragedy. Do it now!
When mom ran away I had no indication it was going to happen. While I was searching the house for her I noticed she had collected several piles of belonging to take with her. I guess she would start one pile and look for something else to take with her and she would forget about the stuff she had already had together. I found a small plastic waste can she had loaded up with shoes and a strange choice of things to take. So if you find little stashes of things it might not be collecting, hoarding or organizing. It might be the person with Alzheimer's is planning to travel.
When a person has Alzheimer's disease they try to return to the places they went to in their youth. The street they found my mother was were a girl friend she worked with at Bell Telephone had an apartment. Right across the street from the apartment was a diner she would meet up with her friends and they would eat or just have coffee. Having Alzheimer's you don't know where they may end up.
I'm glad she had not headed for one of the places she lived before I was born. When she lived there it was well kept and safe all times of the day and night. I don't feel safe going to that area now in the daytime. Who knows what could of happened to her. Maybe nothing. Even in the worst places there can be a kind person that decides to help the helpless.
I take my job as caregiver very serious and pride myself in doing whatever it takes. It's strange the way you can do everything right time after time. The one time you mess up is the one time you can't afford to.
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alzheimer's disease
Alzheimer/'s Disease